Off the Scene / In the Scene

I am sure that in different circles the word “Scene” means many different things. In the gay world it is a word we use when describing being part of a large group of gay people, normally involving alcohol and gay specific clubs and bars to hang out in. This site¬†explains it pretty well!


As every single gay person knows… we love to either be right in there, deep in the scene swimming around in the rainbows and the quite incestuous relationships it has to offer… Or we overdose on the whole thing and decide that we can’t stand the scene any more.

If you know the scene well… You will know that when you are fresh to it… It can seem like the most exciting thing ever. You’ve come out, all your family and friends know, or maybe they don’t…either way you have chosen to step through that magic curtain and drink the nectar of the gay scene.

In my City we had one gay club that only opened on a Tuesday, but you could guarantee every single (or not single!) lesbian would head down there to check out the talent, or just to get drunk with their friends and have a good ol’ gay time [did you like my pun there?]. Now this isn’t a lot to work with.. so you can guess that our scene was small. Three months down the line you could guarantee you would know everyone in that club and who they were sleeping with.

So why was the scene so desirable? Here are some reasons I could think of…

1. If you are new to it… Its a room. full of lesbians. You love lesbians. This is amazing.

2. You love alcohol. And cheesy 80’s music. How have you not found this place before?

3. If you are like me… You are one of those lesbians who no one realises is a lesbian… you get to play this fun game with women coming up to you saying “are you…gay?” and depending on how attractive they are… depended on the answer to that question!

4. You get to openly perve… and the chances are the girl won’t look at you like dirt. She’ll probably perve back.

5. When you start making friends, the scene is so much fun.. a night out surrounded by 20+ mates? guaranteed every time to be a good night? How is that not a win?

6. You might meet the love of your life there… Luckily I did.

There is probably a good load of other reasons why the scene is the place us gays want to be..

But it also has its faults… and they unravel very quickly…

1. Hey is that your ex? kissing your other ex? But thats ok because you are now dating their ex. WTF. You’ve only been on the scene 2 months!!

2. Lesbians LOVE drama. Not all. But most. You can guarantee there will be a sobbing girl in the toilets/outside/at the bar. You can also guarantee there will be a fight. At some point. Nothing like a jealous ex/girl/whatever.

3. People. Know. Your. Business. All the time. Isn’t Facebook bad enough?!?? Everyone knows who is having an affair.. who’s hooking up.. Who’s been dumped… Its all public knowledge in the Scene.

4. This leads to this one… All these women in one place… There is bound to be fall outs. And my my… Us women fall out. Hard. That group of 20+ friends you had? Its down to 4. And they are glaring at 4 other girls across the room that only 3 weeks ago were doing shots at the bar with you. Relationships in the scene cause world wars when broken. Its a messy affair.

5. Which also leads to this. Met your ex on the scene? Well have fun seeing her face everytime you are out. Sometimes we just don’t need reminders of the past… But in this world. It cannot be helped.

So there you have it… The scene in all its beautiful glory. I am sure I have missed loads of other little ‘facts’ out but that was my experience. Getting on and being 28 means that I don’t particularly enjoy the scene now I am all settled and taken… Plus it tends to be full of whipper-snappers… young girls wanting to live the scene in all its glory. And oh my… It was glorious…. But give me a Friday or Saturday night out in town any day… My scene days are … Done.

What about you?