Off the Scene / In the Scene

I am sure that in different circles the word “Scene” means many different things. In the gay world it is a word we use when describing being part of a large group of gay people, normally involving alcohol and gay specific clubs and bars to hang out in. This site explains it pretty well!


As every single gay person knows… we love to either be right in there, deep in the scene swimming around in the rainbows and the quite incestuous relationships it has to offer… Or we overdose on the whole thing and decide that we can’t stand the scene any more.

If you know the scene well… You will know that when you are fresh to it… It can seem like the most exciting thing ever. You’ve come out, all your family and friends know, or maybe they don’t…either way you have chosen to step through that magic curtain and drink the nectar of the gay scene.

In my City we had one gay club that only opened on a Tuesday, but you could guarantee every single (or not single!) lesbian would head down there to check out the talent, or just to get drunk with their friends and have a good ol’ gay time [did you like my pun there?]. Now this isn’t a lot to work with.. so you can guess that our scene was small. Three months down the line you could guarantee you would know everyone in that club and who they were sleeping with.

So why was the scene so desirable? Here are some reasons I could think of…

1. If you are new to it… Its a room. full of lesbians. You love lesbians. This is amazing.

2. You love alcohol. And cheesy 80’s music. How have you not found this place before?

3. If you are like me… You are one of those lesbians who no one realises is a lesbian… you get to play this fun game with women coming up to you saying “are you…gay?” and depending on how attractive they are… depended on the answer to that question!

4. You get to openly perve… and the chances are the girl won’t look at you like dirt. She’ll probably perve back.

5. When you start making friends, the scene is so much fun.. a night out surrounded by 20+ mates? guaranteed every time to be a good night? How is that not a win?

6. You might meet the love of your life there… Luckily I did.

There is probably a good load of other reasons why the scene is the place us gays want to be..

But it also has its faults… and they unravel very quickly…

1. Hey is that your ex? kissing your other ex? But thats ok because you are now dating their ex. WTF. You’ve only been on the scene 2 months!!

2. Lesbians LOVE drama. Not all. But most. You can guarantee there will be a sobbing girl in the toilets/outside/at the bar. You can also guarantee there will be a fight. At some point. Nothing like a jealous ex/girl/whatever.

3. People. Know. Your. Business. All the time. Isn’t Facebook bad enough?!?? Everyone knows who is having an affair.. who’s hooking up.. Who’s been dumped… Its all public knowledge in the Scene.

4. This leads to this one… All these women in one place… There is bound to be fall outs. And my my… Us women fall out. Hard. That group of 20+ friends you had? Its down to 4. And they are glaring at 4 other girls across the room that only 3 weeks ago were doing shots at the bar with you. Relationships in the scene cause world wars when broken. Its a messy affair.

5. Which also leads to this. Met your ex on the scene? Well have fun seeing her face everytime you are out. Sometimes we just don’t need reminders of the past… But in this world. It cannot be helped.

So there you have it… The scene in all its beautiful glory. I am sure I have missed loads of other little ‘facts’ out but that was my experience. Getting on and being 28 means that I don’t particularly enjoy the scene now I am all settled and taken… Plus it tends to be full of whipper-snappers… young girls wanting to live the scene in all its glory. And oh my… It was glorious…. But give me a Friday or Saturday night out in town any day… My scene days are … Done.

What about you?




Being a “big ol’ gay”, I am aware of the YouTube sensations that are The Roses, Wegan and Luclyn. The way I became aware was about… almost two years ago when my beautiful current girlfriend and I were doing the usual and searching weird YouTube stuff. Then I came across The Roses. The video was about Hallowe’en and a kissing game they had invented. I thought it was hilarious. So did over 100,000 other people [I am guessing this number because today, they have 199,060 followers… that is a LOT of people who know who they are]. With this I spent the night watching video after humorous video. Rosie had strange coloured hair and Rose was a little Ellen Page lookalike. What an amazing duo they have become.

With this, I slowly discovered both Luclyn and Wegan. Two totally different couples. Lucy and Kaelyn [Hence- Luclyn], are a very cute international couple with a long distance relationship. Kaelyn is a vet now [ I have been watching since she was just a student] and Lucy a film student. They soon will be together in Arizona. This makes me a little sad that we lose them to America…

But I suppose we, England, gained Wegan. A ridiculously stylish Femme couple [they are all femme couples, it’s just Wegan are the girliest of Femme, and I totally ship that right there]. So its only fair America get to keep one couple out of the two. Now, Wegan, who are Whitney and Megan. They are slightly older and have been the longest together couple out of the three. You can tell. They have their shit royally together. A beautiful house. Two important jobs and they got their first baby…. a kitten! Kisses! They have been on many a holiday and we have shared their life and their travels and their Civil Ceremony and anniversaries with them.

All these wonderful couples have kept me entertained on many a night. They each bring something different to the table and I have laughed and cried.. repeatedly to them.

So when I heard that they were arranging a meet up with ALL THREE, I was thrilled. I wasn’t full of questions, I didn’t have artwork to give or a pizza to share, I just wanted to see them in the flesh. And I got this. Well… Nearly. The unfortunate event that Rose fell ill did leave the aura in the meet up slightly saddened. Many a girls heart deflated in that moment… No one wanted any of those girls on that day not to be there. But the support and the love that was sent her way through Twitter and Tumblr even moved me. She was really missed.

 The Q&A at the beginning was heartwarming. Listening to each one tell a story and make the audience laugh. They are all delightful and can keep a crowd interested. After that everyone could meet them. This was slightly more interesting… 600 lesbians [roughly] desperate with 5 seconds with each of their idols. But for these seconds, there were 599 lesbians sitting. waiting. And oh did we wait. 4 hours. with no other entertainment after you had finished with the stalls apart from to watch the girls hug their fans. Boredom did set in, we cannot lie. My girlfriend and I were the last ‘blues’ to go through [it went in colour order]. And we had to create a game with a Pringles can… we played for a good hour hitting it off each others heads! But… the wait ended up being totally worth it. It was lovely, no, astonishing, meeting the girls. We were unfortunately very rushed and I didn’t get to say what I wanted… which was a real real shame. But still, they were still smiling, after 5 hours of hugging and thank you’s, they still smiled, and said thanks. And were genuine. It showed me that this works both ways, they loved to entertain us and we loved to watch them. The fact that the world is changing is proof right here in that day. That one day.

And so now, I want to say thanks to all 6 of you. Thank you for caring about your fans that much to do that event. It was an experience I wouldn’t forget.

Thank you for giving the younger girls strength to come out.

Thank you for appreciating every fan.

Thank you for all the advice you have ever given

Thank you for your continuous honesty.

Thank you for helping the world realise it needs to change, and thank you for pushing for that change.

Thank you for still doing videos that lighten all your fan’s days over and over.

Thank you personally from me… You showed me that the lesbian world is not just drama and pain. And love exists. It really exists and that this side of the world is beautiful. Thank you for making sure I knew I wasn’t the only one out there who wanted a real relationship. Solid and Real. I have that now, and its amazing, and you showed me that it can happen, all over the world. 

For anyone that is reading this and has no idea who they are, here are some links below. Explore. You will love them as much as everyone else does.

Bring on the future and the many #Rosweglyn’s to come

The Roses