Off the Scene / In the Scene

I am sure that in different circles the word “Scene” means many different things. In the gay world it is a word we use when describing being part of a large group of gay people, normally involving alcohol and gay specific clubs and bars to hang out in. This site explains it pretty well!


As every single gay person knows… we love to either be right in there, deep in the scene swimming around in the rainbows and the quite incestuous relationships it has to offer… Or we overdose on the whole thing and decide that we can’t stand the scene any more.

If you know the scene well… You will know that when you are fresh to it… It can seem like the most exciting thing ever. You’ve come out, all your family and friends know, or maybe they don’t…either way you have chosen to step through that magic curtain and drink the nectar of the gay scene.

In my City we had one gay club that only opened on a Tuesday, but you could guarantee every single (or not single!) lesbian would head down there to check out the talent, or just to get drunk with their friends and have a good ol’ gay time [did you like my pun there?]. Now this isn’t a lot to work with.. so you can guess that our scene was small. Three months down the line you could guarantee you would know everyone in that club and who they were sleeping with.

So why was the scene so desirable? Here are some reasons I could think of…

1. If you are new to it… Its a room. full of lesbians. You love lesbians. This is amazing.

2. You love alcohol. And cheesy 80’s music. How have you not found this place before?

3. If you are like me… You are one of those lesbians who no one realises is a lesbian… you get to play this fun game with women coming up to you saying “are you…gay?” and depending on how attractive they are… depended on the answer to that question!

4. You get to openly perve… and the chances are the girl won’t look at you like dirt. She’ll probably perve back.

5. When you start making friends, the scene is so much fun.. a night out surrounded by 20+ mates? guaranteed every time to be a good night? How is that not a win?

6. You might meet the love of your life there… Luckily I did.

There is probably a good load of other reasons why the scene is the place us gays want to be..

But it also has its faults… and they unravel very quickly…

1. Hey is that your ex? kissing your other ex? But thats ok because you are now dating their ex. WTF. You’ve only been on the scene 2 months!!

2. Lesbians LOVE drama. Not all. But most. You can guarantee there will be a sobbing girl in the toilets/outside/at the bar. You can also guarantee there will be a fight. At some point. Nothing like a jealous ex/girl/whatever.

3. People. Know. Your. Business. All the time. Isn’t Facebook bad enough?!?? Everyone knows who is having an affair.. who’s hooking up.. Who’s been dumped… Its all public knowledge in the Scene.

4. This leads to this one… All these women in one place… There is bound to be fall outs. And my my… Us women fall out. Hard. That group of 20+ friends you had? Its down to 4. And they are glaring at 4 other girls across the room that only 3 weeks ago were doing shots at the bar with you. Relationships in the scene cause world wars when broken. Its a messy affair.

5. Which also leads to this. Met your ex on the scene? Well have fun seeing her face everytime you are out. Sometimes we just don’t need reminders of the past… But in this world. It cannot be helped.

So there you have it… The scene in all its beautiful glory. I am sure I have missed loads of other little ‘facts’ out but that was my experience. Getting on and being 28 means that I don’t particularly enjoy the scene now I am all settled and taken… Plus it tends to be full of whipper-snappers… young girls wanting to live the scene in all its glory. And oh my… It was glorious…. But give me a Friday or Saturday night out in town any day… My scene days are … Done.

What about you?


Shine Like Pearls

Imagine we lived in a world that’s all of a sudden devoid of color, but where you’re given the option to have just one object keep its original hue. Which object (and which color) would that be?

So if all colours disappeared? I would keep pearls.

The way they shine can light up anyone’s smile. They share an array of stunning shades from every angle.

I would miss those colours the most


Don’t ever lose your shine in life


Glass Half Full

In life, we all want to be positive and get the most from life. Even adverts tell us to make the most of ourselves.

“Be More Dog”

Be More Dog

And please don’t get me wrong… I want more out of mine.

But does anyone else think, that the world tells us to get more… but not how?

I want to be the best I can be, and I love the internet for advice but no one can ever beat a good book…

I am one of these people that has a selection of self help/motivational books. Not many… and some fun! I have the well known 101 Things To Do Before You Die

A book that gives you ideas for what to do “before you die”, now, if you get this, please don’t take it too seriously… It is just for fun! But it still has some ideas that you may of never thought of if it wasn’t shoved into your face! Like riding the biggest rollercoasters, to the extreme like getting arrested or having a threesome! [If you decide to get this book, best to hide it… unless you want everyone to know some quite personal achievements!!]

I have owned another book [Which seems to be misplaced.. My Bad] which had all the things you could do with every day off you have, teaches you how to not get burnt out and how to enjoy life. It was a good little read, but involved money. Which some of us just don’t have copious amounts of.

THEN I went through this stuck stage. I didn’t know what I wanted from life so when browsing the WHSmith in the hospital [I’m a nurse, its a common place for me] I came across this book:

Get Things Done.

Now. This is a book that doesn’t tell you what to do, but instead helps you get your head around what is missing from your life. There are graphs where YOU have to number where you think you are in that area.

It makes you visualise what is keeping you back.

Which is why I found it so beneficial. I have had this book for a year and I use it like a coursework book, I go back to it when I have hit a brick wall and re analyse my life. It puts things back into focus.

It is an extremely helpful tool, and one I would recommend to anyone.

The author shows you his own life failings to give you perspective on what life is really like then he helps you set goals. Goals you set all by yourself so only you can know if you achieve them and only you can let yourself down.

So if you are having a “brick-wall” moment… Its definitely one I would read.

In fact… In future posts I will show you little examples of what he does to get you to think outside your boxed room and step into the bright lights of life.

Let’s get things done People

P.s. PLEASE tell me of any books you would recommend, or even websites that make you want to get up off that couch and live! 🙂 

Like stepping into an [generic addiction here] meeting

Like many a good/bad/ugly blogger I am too joining your world with a blog of my own unneeded opinions of life as a 20-something woman lost in a world of relationships, make up do’s and dont’s, caring about the world we live in and creating mild obsessional tenancies towards programmes like ‘Mr Selfridge‘. 

It was on a walk today with my iPhone [sorry for the name drop] listening away that I realised I am one of those people that oh so famous Baz Luhrmann [let’s face it, it is named after him so I should honour him by explaining why] and his very infamous song where he talks about how the older generation are lost and interesting with it. 

Being *almost* 30 and being in a situation where actually, I have no idea where I want my life to go from here… I thought I would share it with the world. Or at least anyone that casts their eyes over this. I am sure there are a few of us out there that are just bumbling through… wishing we had made youtube videos earlier and become ‘net famous’ with it or just chose a different degree, or even should of followed our dream of being a Vet/Lawyer/Doctor. But instead – we remain in Limbo.


So this blog is dedicated to the Wanderers of us. 

The Seekers

And the Lost. 

C’est la vie. Enjoy